I’ve been on the job search for over four months. Yes, four months, four months of hopeful leads, upfront rejection, interviews that lead to nothing, and just flat out being completely ignored.

I am a digital marketer with a content writing, social media, and project management background. I have a website full of a variety of work. I have an “expert” LinkedIn profile with a smiling picture of myself in a suit I purchased at Macy’s. After leaving my last position, I thought I had some reputable experience to easily land a better job and continue my career growth. Sadly, my expectations did not meet my reality.

I’ve tried every tactic in the book. I’ve found appropriate contacts on LinkedIn and sent friendly introduction messages in hopes to land an informal interview or perhaps, an actual interview. I’ve gone to networking events in my city where the big dogs chat about big business. I’ve worked directly with recruiters. I’ve applied online to dozens of job posts. I’ve called agencies, talked to everyone in my big black digital book, and here I still am, jobless and with a dwindling savings account.

The current system of finding a job is an absolute mess. The process is frustrating, daunting, and difficult. There’s plenty of problems and all of them deserve a good rant. 

Online Job Posts

LinkedIn, Glassdoor, CareerBuilder, Zip Recruiter, Monster, and endless other websites have thousands of job posts. Unfortunately, chances of getting any bites are hopeless.

You refine your search based on job title, location, and salary. You end up with a couple pages of job listings. You click on the post and read the qualifications and you’re the perfect fit. You scroll to the bottom of the page to apply. It takes only a minute, adds your name, uploads your resume, your phone, email, and you’re in the mix! By in the mix, I mean you just wasted a precious minute of your life that you could have otherwise used productively on YouTube.

First of all, you applied to a job where dozens of other people have submitted for the same role. How do I know? It usually says right there, “55 people have applied for this position.” (How Sway, it’s been posted for a little over a week!) Don’t worry, you’re such a shining star, you’ll be found, you’re the cream and you’ll rise to the top.

Perhaps the bloated corporation or small agency has an appointed “recruiter” to scroll through the applications, looking for quality candidates. But, no. Your application was most likely sent to a generic email recipient that no one bothers to check because they are busy. Chances are your application is sitting in a saturated email box full of thousands of unchecked emails, because no one bothers to check them.

The reality is the position will probably go to a current employee’s friend. You’re probably more qualified than the candidate getting the job, but where were you when Emily needed consoling after a bad break up? (Probably just applying for more online job postings like a selfish jerk.)

In conclusion, online job postings are pointless and lead to a whole lot of nothing except for shady positions.

Trick Posts

You found a posting for a “marketing assistant” with promise for growth and the opportunity to earn thousands of dollars. You apply and quickly get a call from a recruiter to schedule an interview! You show up and realize you’re in a lobby of other applicants filling out the same form before the 10-minute interview. You chat with a pushy salesman in a cheap suit with a smooth pitch. You get the offer after a hurried chat. It’s too good to be true because it’s too good to be true.

The position, in reality, is a shitty one. You’ll cold call people to sell some nonsense service for a commission. You’ll go to a Costco and try to sell some miracle cleaning supplies or a pillow that doesn’t heat up at night. Yes, you just interviewed for a pyramid scheme with shady leadership and buried one-star GlassDoor reviews. The warnings were there all along.

You deny the offer, that is if you’re aware of what’s actually happening. In Atlanta, there are plenty of these shady companies disguised as “marketing agencies.” A collection of vultures trying to profit off the hellish day work of recent college graduates. In the end, you’ll waste your gas money, time, and most likely have to pay for parking. Figures.

Recruiters

Working with recruiters is frustrating. It all starts with a member of a recruiting agency reaching out to you through email or LinkedIn. They are impressed with your work and think they have a great job for you. You think, “Sweet, someone on the inside repping me. They have a solid contact, and can land me an interview no problem.” Well, it’s not that simple.

Many recruiting positions often fall through. You’ll get an email about any opening, start the application, start the process, and wait, maybe a few days, weeks, or months. You’ll hear nothing for a while, maybe follow up with the recruiter. He or she will have no updates. You’ll get an email telling you the position is no longer available.

A lot of the openings will be contract positions, three months of steady work at a nice freelancing rate. I’ve pursued plenty of them, had the phone interviews, but all of them have ended up leading to the same dead end. Once I had a recruiter contact me for a great freelancing opportunity. She was impressed with my work and wanted to get the ball rolling immediately. In the same day, the position was canceled.

I’ve interviewed for plenty of full-time positions, and they were very promising. Usually, the position will go to someone on the inside or you’ll simply not get the offer. Maybe there was a shark in the tank and you just couldn’t swim fast enough. Maybe you were competing with twenty other applicants and the math says you most likely won’t get it unless you are truly outstanding. Maybe you need to work on your firm handshake, sincere eye contact, and unconditional loyalty to the company.

Regardless of why you didn’t get the position, the hunt continues.

Cold Calling the Company

You’ve tried sending emails to people on the inside. You’ve tried starting friendly chats on LinkedIn. You’re getting no response, but you really want to work for this great company. Why not give them a call? That will show your enthusiasm!

You scroll down to their “Contact” section on their website. Awesome, a telephone number and welcoming CTA that says, “Contact us, we are friendly, we love meeting new people, you are great and we want to be your friend.”

Ring, ring, “Hey, this is Jack Scullin, and I saw a listing online for a role. I’ve tried to reach out to your team but haven’t heard anything. Do you know someone I could contact about this role?”

“Send us an email to our Hi@CompanyName.gmail.com. Someone will get back to you shortly. Bye.”

Someone will not get back to you because no one checks that junk email. At least you had an uncomfortable conversation with a salty receptionist. Time for a break, you’ve earned it.

LinkedIn, The Alpha, The Job Networking Promise Land

 LinkedIn, the Facebook of the professional job world, where everyone goes to post industry articles, bestow wisdom to their fellow connections, and show off their professional prowess. Everyone has hundreds of connections, a nice picture, a portfolio worth bragging about, but does anyone really find jobs on LinkedIn?

You find a great company, they have a listing, and you fit said listing. You search the company employees and find someone with a recruiting-based job title or someone who has plenty of shared connections. Maybe y’all went to the same college, so that’s a good intro sentence to your affable message to a stranger.

You send an introduction message. You Googled, “Best Way to Send Someone You Don’t Know Message on LinkedIn to Land an Interview.” You follow the template and disguise your intentions.

“Can I buy you coffee?”

“Do you have a moment to chat about your experience working at said company?”

“Can we schedule an informational interview?”

“Do you know someone I can reach out and talk to about this promising opportunity?”

You’ve perfected your message. It’s friendly, not desperate, perfectly crafted for optimum results. The reality: If you don’t actually know the person or have a very credible referral to name drop, they won’t respond. I would guesstimate that one in twenty cold-call LinkedIn messages get a response. And more often than not, the response won’t lead you to a paycheck.

The Best Way to Land Your Dream Job 

I don’t know.